Building a startup is hard. Building one that customers actually want? Even harder. You’ve got a brilliant idea, and you’re eager to validate it. But here’s the catch—most founders go about it the wrong way. They pitch too soon, ask leading questions, and end up hearing what they want to hear, not what they need to hear.
The result? False validation, wasted resources, and startups that solve problems no one really cares about.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. The key to building products people love is mastering customer conversations. And one of the best tools for this is “The Mom Test.” This post explores how startup founders and teams can use this framework to ask better questions, get truthful feedback, and build products that solve real problems.
The Trap of False Validation
Talking to customers is crucial for startup success. But most founders unintentionally bias the conversation by talking about their idea too soon. When you pitch your idea, people naturally want to be supportive, especially friends and family. They don’t want to hurt your feelings or sound negative. This is where false validation creeps in.
You hear things like:
- “Oh, that sounds amazing!”
- “I’d definitely use that!”
- “$40? That’s a steal!”
On the surface, this feels like confirmation that you’re on the right track. But it’s not. These are just polite responses, not buying signals.
What is The Mom Test?
The Mom Test is a set of rules designed to help you get truthful, useful feedback—even from your mom, who loves you too much to tell you the harsh truth. The core idea? If your questions are good, even your mom can't lie to you.
The goal is to learn about your customers’ real lives, not their opinions about your idea. This means asking about:
- Past behavior instead of future intentions
- Specifics instead of generalities
- Problems instead of your solution
For example, instead of asking, “Would you buy this app?” ask, “How do you currently solve this problem?” This shift changes the conversation from hypothetical scenarios to real experiences, revealing insights you can actually use.
Common Mistakes: Failing The Mom Test
Here’s an example of how most founders get it wrong:
- Founder: “Do you think this is a good idea?”
- Customer: “Yeah, it sounds great!”
- Founder: “Would you pay $100 for it?”
- Customer: “Sure, why not?”
What went wrong? Everything. These questions are:
- Leading: They nudge the customer toward a positive answer.
- Hypothetical: They ask about the future, which people are bad at predicting.
- Ego-driven: They seek validation, not learning.
The founder walks away feeling validated but learns nothing about the customer’s real needs or buying behavior.
The Right Way: Passing The Mom Test
Here’s how the conversation could have gone:
- Founder: “How do you currently manage referrals?”
- Customer: “Oh, we usually use paper referrals.”
- Founder: “What’s the hardest part about that?”
- Customer: “Honestly, it’s so time-consuming. I end up spending hours on it every week.”
- Founder: “Can you walk me through the last time that happened?”
- Customer: “Sure, just last week, I spent half a day trying to track down our incoming and outgoing referrals...”
This version does three things:
- Focuses on past behavior—you’re getting facts, not guesses.
- Digs into pain points—you learn about real problems, not just nice-to-haves.
- Avoids pitching—the customer doesn’t feel pressured to be nice.
This is how you discover actionable insights that drive product decisions.
Good vs. Bad Questions
To master customer conversations, you need to know the difference between good and bad questions:
Bad Questions:
- “Do you think it’s a good idea?” → Unhelpful (and potentially untrue) opinion.
- “Would you pay for this?” → Hypothetical and unreliable.
- “How much would you pay?” → Misleading unless they’re ready to buy today.
Good Questions:
- “What’s the hardest part about [specific task]?”
- “Can you walk me through the last time that happened?”
- “What have you tried before?”
- “How are you solving it now?”
These questions focus on real experiences, digging beneath surface-level answers to uncover pain points, motivations, and existing workflows.
Avoiding False Positives: Don’t Pitch Too Soon
One of the biggest pitfalls for founders is pitching their solution too early. If you mention your idea, people will instinctively protect your feelings. To avoid this, delay mentioning your product until you fully understand the customer’s world.
Focus on their experiences, challenges, and existing solutions first. Only then, if your product genuinely solves a pain point they care about, you can introduce it. But even then, do it as a hypothesis, not a pitch.
Wrapping Up: From Conversations to Insights
Mastering customer conversations isn’t about validating your idea. It’s about learning. If you do it right, you’ll walk away with a deep understanding of your customers’ problems, needs, and workflows. You’ll know what they care about enough to pay for, and what’s just a nice-to-have.
This knowledge is the foundation of product-market fit. It’s how you avoid building features nobody uses and how you pivot with confidence when needed.
So, before you build another prototype or launch another feature, go talk to your customers. But this time, do it the right way. Pass The Mom Test, and you’ll be on your way to building products people truly need.
Want to learn more about mastering customer conversations and building products people love? Serif Labs is available for consulting, workshops, and user research!
